tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50630734260193526052024-02-18T19:20:02.312-08:00The Blog PostA place where friends and followers can share out-of-the-ordinary experiences.egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-16268873207191166072011-08-21T22:16:00.000-07:002011-08-21T22:16:34.776-07:00Just a Few Gems<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvQA54klKPjCJD6RLKOM8PktYwqPP5HLen2EU0AcuUMKcK2CqOrlaV6ibawBqKQ5fRhYJWLhFhr5LyGHsRxmNaV6VEfTZa8WIPMJwCAvkI4nV-42WcqDr0Ej6lfYvDButCH-kXd5d5Gc/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvQA54klKPjCJD6RLKOM8PktYwqPP5HLen2EU0AcuUMKcK2CqOrlaV6ibawBqKQ5fRhYJWLhFhr5LyGHsRxmNaV6VEfTZa8WIPMJwCAvkI4nV-42WcqDr0Ej6lfYvDButCH-kXd5d5Gc/s320/1.jpg" width="307" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjukLnkTkQy_RhBSFox1XfDA5VIgsmTJEhJTLJL8dpCZ3mAER48JLjZthgzHegSxZeRq6HS8b0pKXBC_-o8gdPVuCvK26geFGU74CmTf-Pi1YvVrosINCcpQkPa0LHtiCkI0RGwqPu_4tU/s1600/IMG_0536.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjukLnkTkQy_RhBSFox1XfDA5VIgsmTJEhJTLJL8dpCZ3mAER48JLjZthgzHegSxZeRq6HS8b0pKXBC_-o8gdPVuCvK26geFGU74CmTf-Pi1YvVrosINCcpQkPa0LHtiCkI0RGwqPu_4tU/s320/IMG_0536.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdt7lV7qooD8CYfDVOZEdJukgsevERgD0SgMYJ_wdFFwKhaq9Ohyphenhyphen27HUaxXit2EN65n6qbQR4wfLWYca6j-6uLDOAvLSdxI4zGrlUUtPR2JW1VouiLjJDr3kwz4C3s3OU_a2nj7Sbzcwo/s1600/IMG_0816.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdt7lV7qooD8CYfDVOZEdJukgsevERgD0SgMYJ_wdFFwKhaq9Ohyphenhyphen27HUaxXit2EN65n6qbQR4wfLWYca6j-6uLDOAvLSdxI4zGrlUUtPR2JW1VouiLjJDr3kwz4C3s3OU_a2nj7Sbzcwo/s320/IMG_0816.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thank goodness SOMEONE rids Costa Rica of horses!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9wpSxaXcmF_WHtgmaNzFRyj2m-JQe1qDY6RMALfoqllyV4RQHponD8sN9NMCh0d2-tIfEjvdvrxK6ikrgFRCiF_5M1womrzuD1pFxe7Wnr2ZPp5JYmngvKgTQ6GR37AZtrR5s8hXspNk/s1600/IMG_0860.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9wpSxaXcmF_WHtgmaNzFRyj2m-JQe1qDY6RMALfoqllyV4RQHponD8sN9NMCh0d2-tIfEjvdvrxK6ikrgFRCiF_5M1womrzuD1pFxe7Wnr2ZPp5JYmngvKgTQ6GR37AZtrR5s8hXspNk/s320/IMG_0860.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">#8</div>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-52828195146600402002011-08-03T11:49:00.000-07:002011-08-03T12:02:30.951-07:00Someone needed a hug...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIKwSxCOW4Y7TIznOe8RjbNVWq91TXRx8XvVRlnzKsWlr7ZFu8u5xlq-reWxRqfAKY5MYkAoU-laAG8RAUvbuCT2Lj5pF0f6nL0dnR2Q1HZwqzUsunsLB3qZKxRNUDnQUTae3_AXLAa_JY/s1600/old-lady-driver.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 300px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 168px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636707078760822322" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIKwSxCOW4Y7TIznOe8RjbNVWq91TXRx8XvVRlnzKsWlr7ZFu8u5xlq-reWxRqfAKY5MYkAoU-laAG8RAUvbuCT2Lj5pF0f6nL0dnR2Q1HZwqzUsunsLB3qZKxRNUDnQUTae3_AXLAa_JY/s320/old-lady-driver.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>Alright...I figured it was my turn to post something. Of course, my posts are never nearly as funny as E's but I'll go for it.</div><br /><br /><br /><div>I work as a receptionist for a salon and at the end of the day I take all the garbages out and walk to the hugely ginormous one at the end of the business park (<span style="font-size:78%;">how many of you can say that you have a key to a dumpster? I thought so, feel free to let that green color of jealousy seep into your face for 33.7 seconds) </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Anyways, because there are always cars speeding in and out of parking stalls I sometimes like to walk down the middle of the road so that I can see the cars and the cars, for the most part, can see me. Yes this story has a punch line...<br />Anyways I could hear a car speed into the park but there was a UPS truck right next to me so once I passed that I wasn't really listening or paying much attention. Next thing I know I can hear someone shouting at me, "You have to walk right down the middle of the road!? SERIOUSLY!! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" What the!?!? Me and my three bags of garbage were seriously caught off guard and slightly offended..so I just finished walking the whole six feet left to the garbage dumpster and she sped out from behind me. Rude. The UPS guy had apparently seen and heard the whole thing because he comments to me, " Someone sure needs a hug today...was she serious?" haha...UPS guy you're my favorite. And also, I have no intention of changing my path to the dumpster..So yes mean lady in the red car who needed a hug, I seriously am walking down the middle of the street. You can chill for five seconds or slow down to the speed limit. Geesh!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-61860048084039663152011-06-05T21:54:00.000-07:002011-06-05T21:54:00.717-07:00Things to do when you know you are going to fail an exam anywayThanks bypassfanpages.com for this next one. Classic. Sorry if I missed any editing<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”</div><div style="text-align: center;">2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.</div><div style="text-align: center;">3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.</div><div style="text-align: center;">4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.</div><div style="text-align: center;">5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.</div><div style="text-align: center;">6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.</div><div style="text-align: center;">7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.</div><div style="text-align: center;">8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.</div><div style="text-align: center;">9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.</div><div style="text-align: center;">10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.</div><div style="text-align: center;">12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.</div><div style="text-align: center;">13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Screw this!” and walk out triumphantly.</div><div style="text-align: center;">14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)</div><div style="text-align: center;">15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).</div><div style="text-align: center;">16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.</div><div style="text-align: center;">17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.</div><div style="text-align: center;">18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.</div><div style="text-align: center;">19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.</div><div style="text-align: center;">20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.</div><div style="text-align: center;">21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.</div><div style="text-align: center;">22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.</div><div style="text-align: center;">23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.</div><div style="text-align: center;">24. Cry and Bawl</div><div style="text-align: center;">25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the he** are you? Where’s the regular guy?”</div><div style="text-align: center;">26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!</div><div style="text-align: center;">27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.</div><div style="text-align: center;">28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”</div><div style="text-align: center;">29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.</div><div style="text-align: center;">30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">31. <span class="goog_qs-tidbit-0">In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom,</span> tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what’s going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious… like history notes for a calculus exam… otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”</div><div style="text-align: center;">33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, “Okay, let’s double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E….”</div><div style="text-align: center;">34. Fake an (edited for content). When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.</div><div style="text-align: center;">35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting “What? I’m on my way!!”. rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.</div><div style="text-align: center;">36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.</div><div style="text-align: center;">37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.</div><div style="text-align: center;">38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.</div><div style="text-align: center;">39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.</div><div style="text-align: center;">40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.</div><div style="text-align: center;">41. Make Strange noises… get people to stare… look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">42. Dress like the professor or better yet; cross-dress</div><div style="text-align: center;">43. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.</div><div style="text-align: center;">44. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.</div><div style="text-align: center;">45. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.</div><div style="text-align: center;">46. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.</div><div style="text-align: center;">47. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.</div><div style="text-align: center;">48. Bring cheerleaders, or bring pets</div><div style="text-align: center;">49. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.</div><div style="text-align: center;">50. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.</div><div style="text-align: center;">51. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).</div><div style="text-align: center;">52. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.</div><div style="text-align: center;">53. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say “you don’t really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!”</div><div style="text-align: center;">54. Bring a water pistol with you, or start a brawl in the middle of the exam</div><div style="text-align: center;">55. Come in wearing a full knight’s outfit, complete with sword and shield.</div><div style="text-align: center;">56. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.</div><div style="text-align: center;">57. When you walk in, complain about the heat.</div><div style="text-align: center;">58. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.</div><div style="text-align: center;">59. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.</div><div style="text-align: center;">60. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.</div><div style="text-align: center;">61. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say “it helps me think. ” Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don’t forget to use the phrase “Told you so”.</div><div style="text-align: center;">62. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher”</div><div style="text-align: center;">63. Call the teacher over. Repeatedly call him/her. When he answers, wait 5 seconds, then say “We’re taking a test teacher!” (Kind of like Charlie the Unicorn “We’re on a bridge Charlie!”)</div><div style="text-align: center;">64. go into the exam room. sit down, put on a helmet with the blast shield down and tell the professer the Force will guide your pencil.</div><div style="text-align: center;">65. When the end of the test is near and the examiner starts to look at the clock. Wait until the the seconds hand reaches 6, start singing the Countdown theme tune.</div><div style="text-align: center;">66: leave the whole exam blank after writing THERE ARE ALWAYS MARKS FOR NEAT WORK</div><div style="text-align: center;">67. In the middle of the exam stand up and yell ‘they're coming for me!’ and run out</div><div style="text-align: center;">68. Cough really loudly every 5 seconds</div><div style="text-align: center;">69. Make out with your boyfriend/girlfriend during the exam when the instructor tries to get you to stop, look the instructor in the eye and tell him/her in an annoyed tone “EXCUSE ME!!! We’re a little busy here, GO AWAY . . . “</div><div style="text-align: center;">70. colour in the letters that have a closed of space i.e. a, b, d, e etc</div><div style="text-align: center;">71: On the side which says “blank page” write: “this page would be blank if this sign wasn’t telling you that”. Cover the entire page/paper. Or put movie quotes like “All work and no play makes a dull boy”</div><div style="text-align: center;">72: Get three of your friends to dress up in red robes with crosses. Have them wait outside the class until you get the test and say “I though I was taking a test. I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition.” Then have your friends run in yelling ” NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!”. Try do do this with other Monty Python gags to mix things up.</div><div style="text-align: center;">73: Get a friend to help you answer the questions by doing an INTERPRETIVE DANCE BATTLE!</div><div style="text-align: center;">74: Bring your Laptop and watch your (edited for content) collection.</div><div style="text-align: center;">75: When the professor is explaining the rules, walk up and say “Yo Professor ____, I’m really happy for ya and Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIMEE!</div><div style="text-align: center;">76. Rickroll the entire exam, get a friend to blast out ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ over the speakers.</div><div style="text-align: center;">77: Yell out that ‘The Final Countdown’ is now in your head and start singing the tune, see how many people catch on.</div><div style="text-align: center;">78: Some time into the exam, get up, turn on a radio and start doing the safety dance, when told to stop say you can dance if you want to, if your friends don’t dance then they are no friends of yours.</div><div style="text-align: center;">79: Instead of trying to write the answers, write debates on questions that have plagued mankind for many years, such as who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris and Bruce Campbell.</div>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-10493833293114630312011-05-27T00:58:00.000-07:002011-05-27T00:58:34.498-07:00It's snake jelly time! <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7mfw9ysXtOQ6SOhao1CM92D-40BUQnue-hJZBPdsu4RV2XZB4pvuQWFzit9fsoIa2rQnTOdK95R8TiF7P0gM8OjSS72BsvTXg2Y-2f45OjLsCJmU1mbQsCAbNxspzGfVVb3gfh3RdBc/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7mfw9ysXtOQ6SOhao1CM92D-40BUQnue-hJZBPdsu4RV2XZB4pvuQWFzit9fsoIa2rQnTOdK95R8TiF7P0gM8OjSS72BsvTXg2Y-2f45OjLsCJmU1mbQsCAbNxspzGfVVb3gfh3RdBc/s200/images.jpg" t8="true" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is jelly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRmNos27HuXon3TuF1VaBQCEyHoMxrNWLH4KMKkVE9H_bq6YyhCz_aMGDdgPNyhj4PaV_8EVLYQYyRny-EqeqvBNmmC2kaYWalL79KNqoLK-TaVS6zoGEAvvNdKvDrd0Pb7IaWI-K5-M/s1600/imagesCAJMYQYT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRmNos27HuXon3TuF1VaBQCEyHoMxrNWLH4KMKkVE9H_bq6YyhCz_aMGDdgPNyhj4PaV_8EVLYQYyRny-EqeqvBNmmC2kaYWalL79KNqoLK-TaVS6zoGEAvvNdKvDrd0Pb7IaWI-K5-M/s320/imagesCAJMYQYT.jpg" t8="true" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a snake</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Wondering what in the world a snake and jelly have to do with each other? Absolutely nothing. Except the fact that this is a <span style="color: orange;">DOUBLE POST</span>!!! It's orange because I'm excited. You should be too. Here's to all the stupid people out there...</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Jelly Time</span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">While chatting with some nurses I work with, I was told this story... A little while back some lady got sent home with some contraceptive jelly as a form of birth control. She went home and smeared the jelly on some toast... which she ate. Soon after getting pregnant, this lady tried to sue the contraceptive jelly company. Her argument? "I was in a rush and didn't have time to read the directions on how to use it" the judge said something to the effect of... "You had time to toast bread and eat it". The case was dismissed. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: red;">Snake Time</span> </strong></span><span style="font-size: small;"><em>Big thanks to Britt for sharing this story!</em></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Once upon a time there was a family who decided to get a Boa Constrictor as a pet (<em>oh, it gets better</em>). The family loved their snake and fed it small animals every day to keep it healthy and strong. Oh, and the snake slept with the 7 year old daughter at night. One week, the snake stopped eating. The family, distraught, took their snake to see the vet. "What is wrong with our poor snake?!?!?!" they said quietly. "How long has this been going on?" exclaimed the vet. "About a week, maybe more," cried the family. The vet asked the little girl... "Does your snake ever lay down next to you and stretch all the way out?" "Why, yes! He does it all the time!"...............then the vet replied......"You need to get rid of that snake NOW. He is trying to see if he is long enough to EAT YOU and he has been fasting so that he could do so."</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Okay, so first of all, that is disgusting. Second of all, what kind of idiot family would get a boa constrictor as a pet, and let it sleep with the youngest child? Third of all...... that's really disgusting.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-85888257140760152642011-04-30T23:42:00.000-07:002011-04-30T23:42:26.966-07:00Superman had the KeyTonight I was reminded that people actually read the junk I put out. So here is another classic...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPi-5pZVX2PHfcDGSaz5edObiB7IGBJswQgJq6B1qUeA3Rr784lcKhHWPDUmvZ0mPR_iRmuBT7O0oEuW4OT127o03I0R3dt9cE9pd98DPevwV8mH0_08Xe652CO7CQsafpZlruJJD64qU/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="height: 182px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 395px;"><img border="0" height="230" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPi-5pZVX2PHfcDGSaz5edObiB7IGBJswQgJq6B1qUeA3Rr784lcKhHWPDUmvZ0mPR_iRmuBT7O0oEuW4OT127o03I0R3dt9cE9pd98DPevwV8mH0_08Xe652CO7CQsafpZlruJJD64qU/s320/images.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">At Brigham Young University, things of the sexual nature are pretty taboo (If you didn't know, the majority of the student body is LDS-- see lds.org for more info). Also, if you are married at BYU, you can still be a Resident Advisor (aka, an RA). Having said that, one of my friends related a story where a girl he knew experienced something rather... unique. </div>This girl was walking down the stairs on the way to her vehicle when she heard someone screaming "HELP! HELP!" The girl went to the door, which was unlocked (don't ask me why...) and swung it open. There, handcuffed to the bed naked, was her RA. On the floor was the RA's husband... passed out... wearing nothing but a superman cape. Superman had the key to the handcuffs. So this poor girl had to set her RA free so that she could get dressed to take her husband to the hospital. Apparently kryptonite isn't superman's ONLY weakness.....egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-89713075491578530212011-04-08T14:16:00.000-07:002011-04-08T14:16:30.451-07:00Sorry... Gland problem**No picture could be found to match the story**<br />
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My roommate Tressa was in her Civics class in high school working with this girl on a group project. Everything was going fine until something odd happened... the girl said something to the effect of "yeah... I think that...." and then was interrupted by a noise resembling a cross between a stalling car and a choking duck. The girl made this noise while tilting her head to the side, bringing her shoulder up to her ear, and twitching. An odd display. (Just try it out. Preferably not in public.) Tressa gasped and jumped back, almost falling off her chair. "WHAT HAPPENED???!?!" she said. "Sorry..." the girl replied, "I have a gland problem". Honey... that's not a gland problem.egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-84706618519185393322011-01-23T23:55:00.000-08:002011-01-23T23:55:41.391-08:00Things that (we think) would shatter a teenage girl's worldA few nights ago, my roommates and I were watching one of the greatest films ever created in the history of man-- Twilight. We then went straight on to Eclipse; a thrilling sequel. While watching these artistic gems, we came up with the following list....<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">THINGS THAT WOULD SHATTER A TEENAGE GIRL'S WORLD</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><ol><a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTSgQhC-agwhFTYzqV9tWzNnUbKhqAY6Ye1Eb3d2e0L7N60xuN_" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTSgQhC-agwhFTYzqV9tWzNnUbKhqAY6Ye1Eb3d2e0L7N60xuN_" /></a>
<li style="text-align: left;">Edward straight up EATS Bella.</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Bella eats Edward...</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Edward is discovered applying glitter all over his body</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Taylor Lautner becomes morbidly obese </li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Models really DO look like that</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Channing Tatum is a woman</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Zac Efron wears dentures</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Channing Tatum's jaw is drawn on</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Justin Bieber is gay... with Miley Cyrus (try to figure THAT one out! Double Whammy!)</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Michael Jackson is dead</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Finding out crabs aren't only on the beach</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Finding out your facebook boyfriend isn't real</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Having one friend on facebook</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">And last but not least... growing facial hair</li>
</ol>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-24989062361272227752011-01-06T13:54:00.000-08:002011-01-06T13:54:06.088-08:00My Date is Dead**Names have been changed**<div>So my sister has tons of crazy stuff happen to her or her friends, as you can see with the "dead dog in a suitcase". This lovely story comes from a friend of her's and is particularly.... well... you'll see.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFHL0kSop34zBKArVPSrOZSoX4dB_jgOamn7l69GelJK_dweLr_opwOcvjmK3rCXZ-nzxk-sT6c3F-EEZ-u_p5s8pVR8pGIk3cSf2kowVEq8NkR8B3b7XQTcgTeWsfjVIvYM0SNobLKWc/s1600/tombstone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFHL0kSop34zBKArVPSrOZSoX4dB_jgOamn7l69GelJK_dweLr_opwOcvjmK3rCXZ-nzxk-sT6c3F-EEZ-u_p5s8pVR8pGIk3cSf2kowVEq8NkR8B3b7XQTcgTeWsfjVIvYM0SNobLKWc/s320/tombstone.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div>Mary hadn't had the best luck with relationships. And you learn as you get older that the more dates you go on, the crazier the people (and the stories) get. Mary, in her efforts at trying to find her "one and only" had joined an online dating service... a few actually. As sometimes happens in these situations, she met someone... well... met is the wrong word. You see, they hadn't actually met. They had talked for a pretty long time and she felt comfortable with him, especially since this particular online service was provided by her church and was in line with her moral standards. This man was a veteran and had been injured in his service so he got to go to a "wounded veterans ball" in New York City every year. We will call the man... Agnus. So Agnus was invited to this ball, and since he needed a date and had never met Mary, he invited her. "It's great, they pay for your food, flight, and hotel. All you have to do is provide your own entertainment." Agnus exclaimed (excitedly). Mary thought (deeply), "A free trip to New York City?! Count me in!" So Mary hopped a plane, traveled afar, and arrived in New York City. Agnus and Mary had a grand time, but she wasn't really feeling a connection. Agnus didn't like that at all. He got very upset at her and told her that he didn't want her coming back to the hotel and she could find her own place to stay (the two had decided to share a room with separate beds). Mary didn't want to do that. So, since she had a key to the room anyway, Mary went out and partied the night away with some friends she had met at the ball. She got to the hotel around 3 a.m. and snuck into the room. Agnus was all hooked up to his CPAP machine (a machine that helps you keep breathing, kinda) because he had sleep apnea, and didn't even move when she came into the room. Mary slid quietly into her bed and fell asleep. </div><div>Mary woke up before Agnus the next morning and decided that she would shower before she went downstairs. You see, Agnus and Mary had planned earlier that week to travel to the 9/11 site with some friends that morning. After Mary's shower, Agnus still wasn't up! Mary went over to Agnus and quietly said that she was going down to the bus and he should probably get up soon if he wanted to come. She then went downstairs, boarded the bus, and waited...........and waited............and waited......... and no Agnus. She tried calling his cell phone a couple times, she tried calling the room, and finally she called the front desk and asked them to please send someone up there to make sure he was up. Well the group decided to leave without him. </div><div>As the bus returned and pulled into the hotel, Mary noticed several police cars and an ambulance. She wasn't even allowed to get off the elevator on her floor and nobody was allowed to leave the hotel. She later found out that sometime during the night, her date had died...expired....passed away....kicked the bucket. There was an investigation, Mary was questioned for about 8 hours, and the conclusion was made that he had died of natural causes...... but some say.... he died of a broken heart.</div>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-35815350991251472112010-11-27T21:08:00.000-08:002010-11-27T21:21:41.011-08:00No big..."what? you get really scared when you stay home by yourself?" , "yeah" , "oh, well then it's probably good you have roommates", "yeeaahh...it would be, except they're all home for Thanksgiving break."<br />This is the simplest version of the conversation I had many times this past week. You see...I am paranoid. It has gotten much better though...I'm only about minor paranoid now...uh, mostly. Usually I flip if I have to stay in a house by myself so...I just go somewhere else, where there are lots of people. But this past week, with all of my roommates home for Thanksgiving break and me having to work every day except Thanksgiving Day I had to stay in Provo. So there I was...alone. In a forty year old house complete with creaky floors and rapist basement free of charge.<em> yay! </em>This whole week I haven't even been able to sleep in my room...seriously, I get to freaked out to sleep in my room. So instead I have to go into all of the other rooms...make sure nothing or no one is in them and then shut the doors. After that I promptly fluff my pillow and set it on the couch where I know I will be tucking myself in for the rest of the week. Awesome. So, besides my OCD over which way the blinds have to be closed and needing the closet doors along with the bedroom doors all shut tightly...I'm mostly normal. Good thing the house doesn't make any creepy sounds...oh wait...it does. No big. But don't be suprised if the next thing you hear on the news is a story of a student who died paralyzed in fear...found by her roommates who returned after a whole week of family activities.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-14887215176531133942010-11-21T14:54:00.000-08:002010-11-21T14:54:39.481-08:00A Dead Dog in a Suitcase<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://gotpetsonline.com/pictures-gallery/dog-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/golden-retriever-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/pictures/golden-retriever-0520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="http://gotpetsonline.com/pictures-gallery/dog-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/golden-retriever-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/pictures/golden-retriever-0520.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The following is a true story. I got it from my sister who always seems to have crazy stuff happen to her, or happen to her friends. Names have been changed.<br />
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So once upon a time the economy was doing very, very poorly in the land of America. Over yonder in New York, there was a young woman who was feeling the financial effects.We will call her Alice. Alice decided to take up dog walking to bring in a little extra cash. She was called by a family one day who had a dearly beloved, massive golden retriever that needed to be house sat (sitted?) while the family was away. So the family took off on their vacation and Mary showed up at the house to feed and walk the dog. She called him, and called him, but alas, no answer. And why do you think that is? Yes, because he was dead. When Alice discovered the deceased dog, she called the family. She told them what happened and asked them what course of action they would like her to take. "Well... we won't be home for like a week so just call the animal shelter or something and have them dispose of the body."<br />
She did as instructed and they told her that if she brought them the body, then they would get rid of it for her. Well, this dog was massive. She pondered for a bit as to how in the world she was going to get this dead dog onto the subway, across town, and to the shelter without getting too many judgmental glances. She didn't own a car, and couldn't afford a cab. So she decided that she would stuff the body into one of the family suitcases.<br />
Going down the stairs of the subway was just fine, but when she reached her destination, she realized that she also had to carry the "package" upstairs as well. So she started struggling up the stairs. A kind man noticed she was struggling and asked if she needed some help. While carrying the heavy load up the stairs, the man was curious as to what the suitcase contained. What are you going to tell the guy? 'Oh yeah, I just have a dead dog in there ha ha.... ha.' Negative. So she told him "It's a bunch of computer parts from where I work". The man asked no further questions, but upon reaching the top of the stairs.... he took off with the suitcase filled with (what he thought was) computer parts. Alice just kinda stood there and finally laughed and said "Okay! See ya!" She called the family and told them that unfortunately, she lost one of their suitcases. What is really funny about this story to me is imagining his face when he finally opened the suitcase..... bet he wasn't expecting THAT.egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-52101530903677838912010-11-13T18:51:00.001-08:002011-01-06T13:56:09.505-08:00I'll punch your car.Let me just vent the frustration that has been building up this past week. In back of my house (the one I just moved to, in Provo, with 4 other girls...yes, I moved out of my parents house), there is an area that comes along with the house and it contains FIVE parking spaces. Wow, that's just enough for the FIVE girls (including me) that live in the house in front of these spaces, go figure. Well, there is a lovely apartment complex that we basically can touch if we were to lean out the window to the east of us. Their parking spaces are in front of the complex and directly behind it along with a couple just strewn behind our spaces. They couldn't be more pointed out, even if you were to paint the lines in glowing neon colors. So I would like to punch the car of the person that decided to park <i>diagonally</i>, (seriously!? you couldn't be bothered to park parallel to the other cars next to you) IN MY PARKING SPOT!!! This car has been there for almost two weeks now...it hasn't moved. Really, not one inch has it budged. That is my parking spot buddy, GET OUT OF IT!. Or I really am going to punch your car...or something to that effect. <br />
<div>So, in honor of the title of this post I'll share a video that my roommates and I thoroughly enjoy to the point of playing the same part over and over. (excuse me? don't judge us just because we're easily entertained).</div><div><br />
</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/80entLldZOg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-40186384307615540332010-11-03T13:30:00.000-07:002011-01-06T14:08:43.487-08:00These bring joy to my soul<a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/dog-tries-to-avoid-bath/20t8tma1?rel=msn&from=sharepermalink-blogger">Check out this great MSN video: Dog tries to avoid bath</a>--- thanks for this one Angie!<br />
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<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/147968/saturday-night-live-lawrence-welk-cold-open">http://www.hulu.com/watch/147968/saturday-night-live-lawrence-welk-cold-open</a> ---- for all that is good please watch this one!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/a7iAZQlf5_4/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a7iAZQlf5_4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a7iAZQlf5_4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/y54yESyq6Io?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-30850807190592082010-11-02T23:27:00.000-07:002010-11-02T23:56:31.952-07:00Seeing must be believing<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrEOZP3r2QNIkS2KpZNhaGRLPYkunWDZd1dOQi5Mqg36sNM1FpjSBcqdLoLOCPjRCYEXh6OwGCzraqLPUwFjPiKHIO5-gPpuTFgZw4ThA5sPNKrzIdZ87Fu2g__ZF4KGoNnL3sUQ8iMED6/s1600/blinders.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 189px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 267px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535213744658051266" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrEOZP3r2QNIkS2KpZNhaGRLPYkunWDZd1dOQi5Mqg36sNM1FpjSBcqdLoLOCPjRCYEXh6OwGCzraqLPUwFjPiKHIO5-gPpuTFgZw4ThA5sPNKrzIdZ87Fu2g__ZF4KGoNnL3sUQ8iMED6/s320/blinders.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I strongly dislike purposefully ignorant people. Especially when I know that I am in the right...and they refuse to see around them beyond the shadows. We as people wear blinders, and we choose when to put them on and when to take them off and just trust. I admit that sometimes I am at fault when it comes to taking my blinders off, we all are...who can argue that? But what I don't understand is when your career and education, everything you've been taught says that sometimes what you see isn't always what you get, and yet you refuse to believe that what you might not be seeing is in fact...actually happening. We are told to believe in things we can't see starting when we're toddlers; Santa, God, Love. And we do. We believe without hesitation. But when it comes down to something that is staring you right in the face, we pull those blinders back on, refusing to accept what we cannot see or may not personally be witnessing. So instead of accepting the facts set before us we try to rationalize. We try to force an answer that we like, rather than what needs to be. It is our way, because it couldn't possibly be another. TAKE YOUR BLINDERS OFF!! Give people the benefit of the doubt, trust...and believe without seeing.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-7166046821221742402010-11-02T23:01:00.000-07:002010-11-02T23:01:47.457-07:00YES. I AM STILL SINGLE... thanks for noticing...<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoxtDukhZYTdRYWUT-y8pQbajda9DTSpBiKTA1KxUtzTwZkB3aB-u4OlcN2UhIPCY9n3Z0iqVAVvz1F0G2XVhxlH9GR8KTRtel68lPpxiFWw7XX7u04EUPiruKHm-s3o1d8HAmnD13mBE/s1600/wedding+blegh.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoxtDukhZYTdRYWUT-y8pQbajda9DTSpBiKTA1KxUtzTwZkB3aB-u4OlcN2UhIPCY9n3Z0iqVAVvz1F0G2XVhxlH9GR8KTRtel68lPpxiFWw7XX7u04EUPiruKHm-s3o1d8HAmnD13mBE/s320/wedding+blegh.bmp" width="213" /></a></div>Dear Wedded Persons<br />
We all know that you are "happier than you have ever been"... that you "Can't believe you are married to your BEST FRIEND!!!!" and that you may or may not be with child.... but the rest of us single people don't appreciate being reminded that yes.... we are still single. <em>Pathetically</em> single. We try to rationalize away our single-ness by exclaiming our need for a successful career, our inability to "lower our standards", or try to unrationally place the blame on the opposite gender... but really... we are still just as single. So none of us REALLY want to hear about your weddingful bliss. Or read about it on facebook (for those of us who have it). We also do NOT want to be your (permanent) third wheel... thank you very much. And although the Utah culture says that if you are 25 and not married, you are a menace and disgrace to society, it is actually considered NORMAL everywhere else. And just because certain people go to certain schools in a certain Provo city... that does NOT mean we have a boyfriend, nor are engaged, nor are married, or even looking/ being considered.<br />
Something else, world, all of you beautiful people STOP GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!! It is unfair to the rest of us. It is genetically impossible for you to have ugly offspring. So it would be much appreciated if at least one of you were hit with the ugly stick a few times.... just sayin.<br />
Love,<br />
Usegreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5063073426019352605.post-13145304479442633902010-11-02T22:47:00.000-07:002010-11-02T22:47:42.937-07:00Community blog<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif_TXjqkgIhkw1GOOLBP_-zQ2fK1Se0SJ1i1kdVWnUVj1RDYl6TtBbiqcGmLavxdaZGgiVhUA2dnWkRVgl1ahLFqBljbTQf8OPfh6xp7P_qAdhKTg037JMwnyMoiIgiVaDzxMBzWaaQrk/s1600/wedding+blegh.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>Alas, the first blog. For a while now, I have been wanting to do this-- it's like a less pathetic facebook. A COMMUNITY BLOG of sorts. Where my roommates and friends (or even from people I don't know!) will post or share their hilarious, awkward, and abnormal stories or experiences. There may also be a few rants and bitter outbursts. This may not be as entertaining to you reading this as it will be to those who participate but I figure it's worth a try. After all, you can't spread happiness without getting a little on yourself... or something like that. If you have a story to add, comment on a post and I will give you my email address. It can be anonymous or signed... either way, let's make this fun.egreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13869398515510669150noreply@blogger.com0