Things that (we think) would shatter a teenage girl's world

A few nights ago, my roommates and I were watching one of the greatest films ever created in the history of man-- Twilight. We then went straight on to Eclipse; a thrilling sequel. While watching these artistic gems, we came up with the following list....

THINGS THAT WOULD SHATTER A TEENAGE GIRL'S WORLD

1. Edward straight up EATS Bella.
2. Bella eats Edward...
3. Edward is discovered applying glitter all over his body
4. Taylor Lautner becomes morbidly obese 
5. Models really DO look like that
6. Channing Tatum is a woman
7. Zac Efron wears dentures
8. Channing Tatum's jaw is drawn on
9. Justin Bieber is gay... with Miley Cyrus (try to figure THAT one out! Double Whammy!)
10. Michael Jackson is dead
11. Finding out crabs aren't only on the beach
12. Finding out your facebook boyfriend isn't real
13. Having one friend on facebook
14. And last but not least... growing facial hair