Sunday, November 21, 2010
A Dead Dog in a Suitcase
So once upon a time the economy was doing very, very poorly in the land of America. Over yonder in New York, there was a young woman who was feeling the financial effects.We will call her Alice. Alice decided to take up dog walking to bring in a little extra cash. She was called by a family one day who had a dearly beloved, massive golden retriever that needed to be house sat (sitted?) while the family was away. So the family took off on their vacation and Mary showed up at the house to feed and walk the dog. She called him, and called him, but alas, no answer. And why do you think that is? Yes, because he was dead. When Alice discovered the deceased dog, she called the family. She told them what happened and asked them what course of action they would like her to take. "Well... we won't be home for like a week so just call the animal shelter or something and have them dispose of the body."
She did as instructed and they told her that if she brought them the body, then they would get rid of it for her. Well, this dog was massive. She pondered for a bit as to how in the world she was going to get this dead dog onto the subway, across town, and to the shelter without getting too many judgmental glances. She didn't own a car, and couldn't afford a cab. So she decided that she would stuff the body into one of the family suitcases.
Going down the stairs of the subway was just fine, but when she reached her destination, she realized that she also had to carry the "package" upstairs as well. So she started struggling up the stairs. A kind man noticed she was struggling and asked if she needed some help. While carrying the heavy load up the stairs, the man was curious as to what the suitcase contained. What are you going to tell the guy? 'Oh yeah, I just have a dead dog in there ha ha.... ha.' Negative. So she told him "It's a bunch of computer parts from where I work". The man asked no further questions, but upon reaching the top of the stairs.... he took off with the suitcase filled with (what he thought was) computer parts. Alice just kinda stood there and finally laughed and said "Okay! See ya!" She called the family and told them that unfortunately, she lost one of their suitcases. What is really funny about this story to me is imagining his face when he finally opened the suitcase..... bet he wasn't expecting THAT.