Tuesday, November 2, 2010

YES. I AM STILL SINGLE... thanks for noticing...

Dear Wedded Persons
We all know that you are "happier than you have ever been"... that you "Can't believe you are married to your BEST FRIEND!!!!" and that you may or may not be with child.... but the rest of us single people don't appreciate being reminded that yes.... we are still single. Pathetically single. We try to rationalize away our single-ness by exclaiming our need for a successful career, our inability to "lower our standards", or try to unrationally place the blame on the opposite gender... but really... we are still just as single. So none of us REALLY want to hear about your weddingful bliss. Or read about it on facebook (for those of us who have it). We also do NOT want to be your (permanent) third wheel... thank you very much. And although the Utah culture says that if you are 25 and not married, you are a menace and disgrace to society, it is actually considered NORMAL everywhere else. And just because certain people go to certain schools in a certain Provo city... that does NOT mean we have a boyfriend, nor are engaged, nor are married, or even looking/ being considered.
Something else, world, all of you beautiful people STOP GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!! It is unfair to the rest of us. It is genetically impossible for you to have ugly offspring. So it would be much appreciated if at least one of you were hit with the ugly stick a few times.... just sayin.

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